


There's An App For That

by Cerdic519



Series: A Fine Brome-ance [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blackwater MO, Brome - Freeform, Caring, Cell Phones, Clothing Kink, Dildos, Gay Sex, Gymnastics, Hacking, M/M, Multiple Partners, Naked Bronn, Negligee Set, Panties, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Restraints, Revenge, Road Trips, Sexting, Teasing, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-13 07:36:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17483939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerdic519/pseuds/Cerdic519
Summary: Eddie Blackwater has mixed feelings about spending his holiday with his big brother in rural Missouri. He'd pranked him just before they'd parted last time and Bronn had been clearly annoyed (see under Checking One's Life-Insurance) but luckily the doofus had been far too busy drooling over that handsome Jaime Lannister. Two more weeks of slavering and pining? His big brother seriously needed to get it together.As they so wisely say, be careful what you wish for. You may get it!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wholocker78218](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wholocker78218/gifts), [King_4aDay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/King_4aDay/gifts).



**Bellingham WA**

Eddie Blackwater was fluent in an impressively large number of languages, but one he understood particularly well was speaking Bronn. His big brother had been in another world since late last year when their ancestral home town of Blackwater had welcomed the arrival of the stunningly handsome Jaime Lannister (Bronn's words and Eddie reluctantly had to let him have this one; even Mabel at the coffee-shop who was sixty-five if she was a day had asked for his address!). The worst thing was that Bronn and Feelings had about as much chance of coming together as Democrats and Republicans!

Bronn ran a company that made custom models for various fantasy games, books and shows and it was doing very well just now. Most people paid for their items to be posted to them but luckily his brother had had a customer in Vanncouver order two of the larger figures and he had offered to deliver them in person so that he and Eddie could have a road-trip back. That meant five days of pining and UST alleviated only by Bronn's terrible choice in diner food; seriously, how did he stay so fit with what he ate?

His brother arrived late in the afternoon and they went out for dinner before hitting a bar. Eddie fully expected Bronn to hit on some guy or girl there - 'with a body like mine, why waste it?' - but to his surprise (read shock), nada. The pining over the luscious Lannister must be worse than ever. His brother even offered to fetch breakfast from a semi-decent diner which only made Eddie even more suspicious. 

Once he was gone Eddie sat and thought, then smiled to himself. That app his friend Ailsa at work had installed on his phone – he might be able to use it to find out what Bronn was up to. The app collected the last six messages from someone's phone and then replayed them on Eddie's own and all he needed was the number and code, which he'd got last time he'd visited. Still, hacking into his brother's phone – Eddie had a large glass of bourbon to hand just in case:

_Beep!_

_”Hi beautiful. Delivery went fine. Just calling to say how much I miss you out here. Bed's lonely without you. And Eddie snores like an elephant!”_

Eddie scowled. He did _not_ snore and someone was gonna get pranked again if he wasn't careful. And so much for his love for Jaime Lannister; Bronn was back to his old ways again. Sigh.

_Beep!_

_”Miss you so much, my lusty lion. Not to worry; I'm fine. That ointment you gave me before I left stopped me feeling sore well before Canada.”_

Why would anyone call someone a 'lion'? And why would Bronn be feeling sore unless..... oh hell! The younger Blackwater had a sudden image of his brother's potential bed-partner that made him gulp down half his bourbon. Ye Gods the impossible had actually happened?

_Beep!_

_Saw a red jumper with a lion on it in a store today that was so damn you. Eddie was with me but I said I would get breakfast tomorrow so I'll slip out and get it then. Can't wait for you to fuck me wearing it and nothing else as a thank-you!”_

Jaime Lannister had long hair and his idiot of a brother had actually used the word 'leonine' to describe it. And buying a jumper for the fellow? That was almost.... oh God he was going to have to use that word for someone like Bronn - _cute!_ Eddie shuddered.

_Beep!_

_”Yeah, I got the video. The one of some jerk jerking himself off in our bed with me not there, you cunt. You'll pay for that when I get home! Hope Eddie didn't hear any, uh, noises when I watched it.”_

Eddie winced. His own brother.... and in the next bed! Ew!

_Beep!_

_”Missing you so damn much; I'll be back in town in five days; good of you to say not to rush because you were all concerned about me. Love you so much. Thanks for sewing that button from your coat into my breast pocket; now I've always got a part of you with me.”_

Eddie felt his eyes prickling. That was so damn sweet.

_Beep!_

_”Yeah, that and the plug you put in me, you horny bastard. I think Eddie wondered why I sat down so slowly when I got in the car.”_

Eddie winced again. His own brother.... ew ew ew ew ew!

☺☺☺☺☺☺


	2. Chapter 2

**Portland OR**

Now that he was on the lookout for it, Eddie noticed how often Bronn covertly used his phone when he thought his brother wasn't looking. And he always looked so happy before straightening his face as Eddie came up.

The day passed uneventfully and they reached a Super 8 in Portland before dark. Bronn decided to take a bath after dinner which gave Eddie the opportunity to check his brother's phone and see how things were progressing:

_Beep!_

_”You are one very bad Lannister!”_

Eddie's eyebrows shot up. Surely the lovebirds hadn't reached the arguing stage already? That was quick even by Bronn Standards!

_Beep!_

_”You know what I mean, Jaime! Texting me that pic earlier; thank God Eddie was ahead of me; I popped a boner right there in the hotel car-park, you cunt!”_

Eddie winced. His brother's shoe-laces hadn't come undone; he.... ew! 

_Beep!_

_“You wearing only a damn Stetson! There should be a law against that! Thank God Eddie fell for the old shoelaces thing; if I'd have been stood up I'd have been as full-mast as the flag over the damn road!”_

Ew! Jaime Lannister who looked like he wouldn't know what wrong was, sexting his brother with pics of..... double ew!

_Beep!_

_“No Jaime. No more. Don't you dare! I mean it you.... oh fuck not in that damn athletics vest; you know what that does to me...... no.... no Jaime...”_

Bronn's voice was getting progressively higher. Eddie winced in sympathy.

_Beep!_

_“Ahhhhhhhhh!”_

And that was just disgusting. Eddie had no brother!

_Beep!_

_You been using that vacuum pump again? That's more than your usual twelve inches!”_

Eddie needed more bourbon. Like yesterday!

☺☺☺☺☺☺


	3. Chapter 3

**Boise ID**

The disgusting part (from Eddie's point of view) was that he expected his brother to want to get back home as soon as possible for...... 'reasons', but knew that he wouldn't hurry because it would worry his.... look, Eddie was open-minded and all that but dammit this was his big brother being imapled by twelve inches of......

Eddie took another sip of bourbon. 

Bronn had volunteered to go and get breakfast again although Eddie suspected that that might be partly so he could have a private conversation with his sex maniac of a lover. He thought about it for a while but decided to chance listening in again. How bad could it be?

(Reader's note: Eddie Blackwater had always said that he had got the brains in the family and his big brother had got the brawn. He had been partly right).

_Beep!_

_“You do know I got a lecture from Eddie about spending too long in the shower?”_

He had, Eddie thought. That had been a bit odd as Bronn was pretty considerate over such things.

_Beep!_

_“No, I was not gonna come out and say 'Jaime Lannister sexted me with a pic of him sucking himself off and I came so damn hard that I had to shower again, you cunt!”_

Ew! Eddie almost dropped his phone.

_Beep!_

_“Yeah I still love you, you horny cunt! Seriously, how can you be that damn flexible when I'm not there to take full advantage of it?”_

Eddie did not know whether to be traumatized or pleased that Bronn had not messed things up. Yet.

_Beep!_

_“Gonna get breakfast for us both but wanted to call and tell you how much I miss you. Even you hogging all the sheets like you always do, then blowing me to make up for it.”_

TMI, dammit!

_Beep!_

_“A sound file? Not more of your.... oh now you're being even more of a cunt!”_

Eddie stared in surprise. Huh?

_Beep!_

_“You are disgusting, Lannister. And once Eddie's safely back on the West Coast I'm setting that orgasm as my ring tone.”_

Eddie wondered; did this place have any lawyers that could help him with disowning his own brother?

☺☺☺☺☺☺


	4. Chapter 4

**Ogden UT**

For the first time in his life Eddie was beginning to understand the idea of rubbernecking when you just had to look at some passing disaster. Part of him (mostly the bit that _liked_ being sane) was screaming at him not to hack into his brother's phone again. He could not unsee what was there, no matter how bad it was. But when Bronn went to get gas and supplies, Eddie did it anyway.

_Beep!_

_”Come on Jaime. In a Golden Corral?”_

Eddie frowned. They had called in to one of Bronn's favorite restaurant chains today and he had of course had to let Eddie drive afterwards as he was having the inevitable food coma on the back seat (see also Congress Being Complete Dicks And Other Totally Predictable Things). How his brother stayed so fit with the crap he ate; he must be getting lots of exercise.....

Eddie quickly stopped that train of thought before.... ew!

_Beep!_

_”That dolt Eddie bought the need for the restroom even though I hadn't had a drink all morning. Better that than my dirty boyfriend made me go into the restrooms and sext him a pic of the panties I was wearing!”_

Eddie was horrified! His brother..... double ew!

_Beep!_

_”Well they're pretty damn comfortable and.... stop it you horny cunt!”_

Oh God that meant his brother was still wearing.... bad mental image, really bad mental image!

_Beep!_

_”No I am bloody well not going on a diet when I get home! I get more than enough exercise with you baby, especially when you fuck me on the pommel. And while I take you on the damn rings!”_

Eddie was horrified. He'd used their mini-gymnasium the last time he'd visited. Never again!

_Beep!_

_”You actually went shopping and bought me..... whoa nice, black see-through lace.”_

Impossibly the bad mental image somehow got worse.

_Beep!_

_”I'm still gonna fuck you on the washing-machine with you wearing the Santa hat. Specially after my disappointment last Christmas when Eddie interrupted us; don't now how I kept a straight face.”_

And he'd seen Jaime Lannister wearing that hat and smirking when.... oh God that was why.... triple ew!

☺☺☺☺☺☺


	5. Chapter 5

**Pine Bluffs WY**

Within sight of Nebraska, Eddie thought. Nearly there. One more day of Bronn covertly looking at his phone every few minutes and Eddie desperately pretending not to see him while equally desperately wishing to not know what was going on. There was no way he was hacking into his brother's phone that evening, no freakin' way!

_Beep!_

_”Look, the panties are one thing but the whole negligée set? Come on you cunt.”_

Before he could stop it a(nother) horrible image arose in Eddie Blackwater's mind. He let out a piteous moan.

_Beep!_

_”No, a red, white and blue set would_ not _be more patriotic, specially given what you did last time I wore those colours.”_

Eddie was torn between running from his phone and learning the worst. It couldn't be any worse than what his imagination persisted in showing him, could it?

_Beep!_

_”My own brother sat listening to his god-awful music and you fucking me in the next room? Ring any bells, cunt?”_

Apparently it could. Eddie had thought he had heard something back then but had put it down to his imagination. Which was still providing a free hi-def image of what he had missed out on. With stereo surround-sound.

_Beep!_

_”No you cunt, I'm not having your horny bros from college round for a four-way fuck..... hey, they're not bad looking.”_

Eddie was seriously considering taking up religion.

_Beep!_

_”And that engraved cock-ring chafes, specially with the leather straps. I had to tell Eddie it was sand earlier when he saw my eyes watering.”_

So when he'd caught Bron adjusting himself he'd actually been..... Eddie was too young for this!

_Beep!_

_”Eddie wants to have dinner from the bar and grill in town when we get in, so if we go get it as take-out we can fit in a quickie while he unpacks.”_

The younger Blackwater started researching options for emigration.

☺☺☺☺☺☺


	6. Chapter 6

**Blackwater MO**

The town founded by Jeremiah Blackwater over two centuries back was one of those out of the way places that seemed to have settled into a genteel decline, which made Eddie wonder why his brother stayed there, or for that matter why someone like Jaime Lannister had moved there..... no, he could guess several horizontal reasons why now. And vertical ones, his brain unhelpfully supplied. Ew! 

The house was much as he remembered and he was not the least bit surprised when Jaime Lannister came over (if Eddie had swung that way then he might have been tempted apart from the minor detail that Bronn would certainly have ended him). The blond was wearing an athletics vest and tight shorts that had a visible effect on the elder Blackwater, judging from the plate that he nearly dropped when he came in. And the heavy breathing. And the drool.

_How were they related again?_

“Anything interesting happen on your trip, Eddie?” Jaime asked, far too innocently.

Eddie swallowed hard. He had heard that tone so often from years of living with Bronn. Oh. My. God!.

“I warned you”, Bronn said unsympathetically. “Pranking me last time you were here – I was honor bound to get you back. Ailsa was in on it too by the way.”

“You set me up!” Eddie said accusingly. “It was all a con!”

“Gotcha!” Bronn grinned. “Your face those times – I managed to get some great pics and they're all on my Facebook page. Loads of hits!”

“Not completely set up”, Jaime amended coming over and wrapping two muscular arms around Bronn who leaned back into him. “And the best, like my delicious daddy here, is yet to come. Time and again!”

Eddie suddenly had a horrible realization. Both men across from him grinned.

“You're not gonna.....”

“The messages were just prolonging the agony”, Bronn grinned. “This cunt is gonna fuck me every which way but loose over the next two weeks – and it's just your luck that I'm fresh out of earplugs!”

Eddie swore there and then never to prank either his big brother or his big brother's lover ever again. Alas, a resolution that came a shade too late......

☺☺☺☺☺☺

After a sleepless night – the first of many, he suspected, Eddie Blackwater was sure that his life could not get any worse especially as some bastard of a brother had hidden the car keys. And, as he'd found when he'd phoned the town's sole cab company, cut off that way of escape as well. No, things could not be worse.

He was midway through breakfast when his brother came into the kitchen. _Stark naked!_

“Be grateful”, an equally naked Jaime Lannister said as he moved over to the coffee-machine (seriously, how had he gotten a hickey _there?)_. “He's trying on the negligée later!”

“Why wait? Bronn grinned.

His little brother just cried.

☺☺☺☺☺☺


End file.
